The Unborn

From a long line of horror movies about demonic possession, "The Unborn" comes off as tame and mostly boring.  Odette Yustman stars as Casey, a college student who suddenly becomes haunted by visions of a young boy that she doesn't know.  In her efforts to find out why this is happening to her, Casey discovers an old family curse dating back to the Nazi era when her ancestors were persecuted and used for malicious experimentation.  Now Casey is plagued by the same evil that has returned decades later to finish what it started.  Written and directed by David S. Goyer ("Blade: Trinity"), the film has a high-production-value look, with better-than-average cinematic style and mood.  There's an intense bathroom scene early on filled with creepy crawlies that successfully make the viewer squirm in their seat.  But everything else about this film is so generic that the little classy touches are like putting lipstick on a pig.  Yustman plays another damsel in distress (much like her previous role in "Cloverfield") who screams and cries prettily, if not a bit robot-like.  The big question is, what is Gary Oldman - who, I should mention, is one of my all-time favorite actors - doing in a film like this?  Oldman, playing the rabbi who Casey turns to for help, seems so out of place and even looks a bit lost at times, like he took a wrong turn somewhere and somehow ended up here.  Oldman dutifully performs the required roof-shaking, floor-quaking exorcism that the finale depends on, but other than that there isn't much for him to do.  With such promising directing and an interesting Jewish-mysticism mythology, you would expect this movie to be more captivating than it is, but instead "The Unborn" is limp and not at all scary.


2 out of 5 stars

Legion

Dennis Quaid, Tyrese Gibson and Kate Walsh star as a group of strangers stranded at a truck stop in the middle of the southwestern desert in this pointless supernatural thriller about the end of days.  Paul Bettany plays the archangel Michael, who is sent to earth to destroy an unborn human child believed to be the next messiah.  In the wake of this biblical apocalypse, Michael goes rogue and decides not to carry out God's orders because he believes in the goodness of humankind and thinks they can still be saved.  Michael is humanity's last chance for surviving this methodical extermination of all of Earth's sinners.  The story is derivative at best, and most of the action involves the trapped group of strangers fighting off Gumby-like creatures (humans who have been possessed by God's army of angels) who stretch their mouths and limbs and crawl around like Japanese horror movie rejects.  We watch wave after wave of attackers come after this random pregnant woman - how or why she was chosen to carry this important baby is never explained - and each of the holed-up survivors drops like flies one by one.  The only decent acting is from Bettany - which pretty much goes without saying since he is usually great in everything he does - who imbues the noble, self-sacrificing Michael with an elegance and grace.  Bettany's acting is not enough to save the movie, though, and all you're left with is an uninteresting film with sub-par special effects and a lame message not worth telling.


1 out of 5 stars

Clash of the Titans

I haven't watched the original 1981 version that this movie is based on in years, but from my vague recollection this revamped version makes the old one look almost Oscar-worthy.  The original was lighthearted, campy fun, while this remake takes itself so seriously and tries so hard to be epic that all the joy is just sucked out of it.  Sam Worthington stars as Perseus, son of Zeus, who until now has been unaware of his demigod status.  It's up to him to battle several beasties on his quest to save the life of the beautiful Princess Andromeda.  He gets help along the way from Argonaut warriors and the angelic Io (played by ethereal beauty Gemma Arterton), who has protected Perseus since his birth and is cursed to roam the earth without ever aging, watching those she loves perish around her.  Worthington is a bore to watch.  His acting range encompasses two facial expressions: grumpy and grumpier.  The special effects are equally boring... you could easily find more impressive imagery from a video game, and I honestly think the filmmakers ripped off the design of some creatures from the "God of War" games.  The only highlights were Arterton - who narrates the film with a lovely accent and intonation, and who is so gorgeous I felt like I couldn't take my eyes off her - and Ralph Fiennes as Hades, who you have to give credit to because he did all he could with the role, with his raspy voice and creepy countenance.  Stick with the original classic if you're in the mood for a fun, Greek-myth based action adventure... otherwise, you may wish that Perseus would point Medusa's head at you and turn you to stone to spare you from watching this snoozefest.


2 out of 5 stars

The Back-Up Plan

Zoe (Jennifer Lopez) wants nothing more than to be a mother.  After realizing that she may never meet the elusive "One", Zoe decides to take matters into her own hands and get artificially inseminated... on the same day that she meets potential Mr. Right, Stan (Alex O'Loughlin).  Sparks fly and soon the two are dating and falling in love.  Will Stan still feel the same way about Zoe once she tells him she's pregnant?  Who comes up with these wacky premises for romantic comedies anyway?  I must admit I was pretty much prepared to dismiss this movie, and at first it did not seem promising (plus, I thought someone should put a stop to insisting Lopez is capable of doing comedy).  But soon I found myself sucked in by these silly characters in this silly situation.  Lopez slowly softens up and becomes less grating as her character, Zoe, starts falling for Stan.  And the pair actually have great chemistry together.  O'Loughlin gives Stan an appealing down-to-earth, Everyman quality that nicely complements Zoe's neurotic, manic pace.  There are plenty of forced laughs, none so over-the-top and distasteful as the birthing scene of one of Zoe's friends.  But despite the clichés, the movie squeaks by as enjoyable because of the two central characters and their blossoming relationship, which despite all its problems and initial triteness feels like a genuine romance in the end.


3 out of 5 stars

From Paris with Love

Let me just start off by saying that this movie is trash, but it's really fun trash.  Jonathan Rhys Meyers stars as James Reece, a low-level intelligence operative who works undercover at the American embassy in Paris as the ambassador's personal aide.  Reece is trying doggedly to climb up the career ladder, and when he gets assigned to a special mission with promises of a promotion he's all over it.  There's one catch, though: His new partner, Charlie Wax (John Travolta), is rude, unpredictable, and more than a little insane, and Reece soon realizes he may have signed up for more than he bargained for.  The plot here is really beside the point.  The movie is just an excuse to throw these two characters together and watch them go on wild car chases and frenetic shoot-outs.  The formulaic good cop/bad cop rules apply here, with Meyers playing the wet-behind-the-ears, naively-trusting, morally-righteous agent, and Travolta playing the no-holds-barred, cynical, morally-dubious killing machine.  Meyers does a great job of playing Reece as the sweet, rational one - a guy you can relate to - while Travolta pulls out all the stops and plays Wax in the most entertainingly deranged way possible.  The explosive action sequences never slow down for a minute, lest you realize there's not much to the story.  Smartly, the film doesn't take itself too seriously and makes sure there are winks thrown in so the audience is in on the joke, too.  "From Paris with Love" is just a fun, mindless, nonstop action thrill ride that pays homage to the rip-roaring, cheesy action movies from the 80s.


3 out of 5 stars

Glee: Season 1

"Glee" may not be the best new show that debuted last year, but I think it is arguably the most fun.  Led by Spanish teacher Will Schuester (Matthew Morrison) - who waxes nostalgic about the heyday of his young singing career - high-school glee club, New Directions, is a sad group of misfits who get terrorized by the popular kids on a daily basis.  But in the hands of Mr. Schuester, and with the incredible vocal talent of Rachel Berry (Lea Michele), maybe New Directions has a chance at making it to the regionals competition... if they can survive the evil plotting from rival cheerleading coach, Sue Sylvester (played to acid-tongue perfection by Jane Lynch).  Overall, this show is fantastic and demonstrates how great musical television can be when done right.  The songs on the show are chosen carefully and with love, which results in show-stopping numbers and touching ways of expressing the characters' emotions.  If I have to fault this show at all, it's for the occasional unevenness of the story lines and overall tone.  The writing, at times, suffers from some identity issues attributable to the very distinct individual styles of the show's three creators and principal writers.  For example, I can definitely feel the presence of creator Ryan Murphy ("Nip/Tuck") when the show starts going off the rails to a crazy place where Will's wife, Terri, fakes a pregnancy to hold onto her marriage.  For my 2 cents, I think these types of dark subplots feel out of place on a feel-good show like this and only take away screen time from the characters we really want to see, namely the kids and Coach Sylvester.  My guess is that these inconsistencies will be ironed out in the show's sophomore season, and as long as they don't get too bogged-down in the gimmicks of having new celebrity-guest stars every week, then "Glee" will keep us all glued to the telly with our feet tapping to the beat.


5 out of 5 stars

The Book of Eli

From the directing team known as the Hughes brothers ("From Hell") comes a post-apocalyptic tale of salvation and redemption.  Denzel Washington stars as the titular Eli who travels across future-day wastelands in search of a place worthy of the sacred text he is bound to protect.  After the nuclear wars, small luxuries like books and soap are hard to come by, and Eli carries one of the rarest and most sought-after books of all which he believes carries the key to restoring order to humanity.  On his travels, Eli befriends a young woman, Solara (Mila Kunis) who joins him on his quest, but with evil town-tyrant Carnegie (Gary Oldman) and his crazy biker gang after the book, it seems nearly impossible that Eli and Solara will make it to safety alive.  This sci-fi adventure is deftly executed by two directors who have experience in creating stunning imagery and setting a strong tone on film.  From the radiation fall-out sky with its constantly skittering clouds to the high-granularity film stock that shows every dust mote dance across the screen, this is probably one of the most gorgeously shot movies I've ever seen.  But without a solid story to back it up, the film ultimately disappoints.  The plot keeps you engaged for the first two-thirds of the film, and Eli is a mesmerizing presence with his stoic demeanor and impressive ninja-like fighting skills.  Unfortunately, the payoff that all this action leads up to doesn't feel deserving of the trouble Eli goes through to accomplish his task.  Eli, in his mission, is grimly determined to persevere because he knows in his heart that he will succeed in his endeavor based on his faith alone.  The problem is, his conviction isn't strong enough to carry that message through to the audience, and by the end I had lost my faith in the journey's outcome.


2 out of 5 stars

Death at a Funeral

An all-star comedic cast delivers the laughs in this black comedy directed by Neil LaBute ("Lakeview Terrace").  Chris Rock plays Aaron, older brother to Ryan (Martin Lawrence) whose father has just passed away.  As the eldest in the family, it's up to Aaron to arrange the funeral and get all the family members gathered to pay their last respects.  But with an oddball collection of relatives, a mysterious stranger who shows up unexpectedly, and no help from the irresponsible Ryan, Aaron's task at hand is more complicated than it sounds.  A remake of the eponymous British film, "Death at a Funeral" is outrageous slapstick, and it works because all the actors are at the top of their game.  From the hysterical Tracy Morgan as the dim-witted friend of the family, to the equally hilarious Danny Glover as the curmudgeonly Uncle Russell, these over-the-top characters would come off as absurd in less capable hands but are enjoyable here.  Not to mention an inspiring insane turn by James Marsden as the deceased's brother's future son-in-law, who has my vote to stop doing dramatic roles and just focus his career on being funny (since he's so good at it).  It's nice to see LaBute getting back to his dark comedy roots and he does a great job of making this funeral from hell come to life.

3 out of 5 stars

The Losers

"The Losers" starts off with a bang when a mission tasked to a group of CIA opertatives goes horribly wrong.  Jeffrey Dean Morgan leads the pack as Clay (a.k.a. The Colonel), a tough and weathered soldier with a soft spot for women and kids.  His team of highly-trained specialists is a colorful bunch of loose cannons (aren't they always?), including the always charmingly funny and immensely likable Chris Evans as their communications specialist and comic relief.  There's really not much to the plot of this movie - a ragtag group of soldiers seeks revenge on the man who burned them - but that's ok because the action does a good job of distracting you from that fact.  Morgan, with his heavily hooded eyes and easy smile, is a natural at playing the leader with a fierce loyalty to his men and country.  Zoe Saldana is pretty one-note at playing the lithe femme fatale, but she sure looks gorgeous and bad-ass doing it.  And as for the evil CIA mastermind, Max, he is played with great gusto by film-vet Jason Patric, who has a blast with the role and savors each line as if it were made of creme brulee.  "The Losers" - based on the popular comic-book series - may not be the smartest espionage thriller, but it is a really fun action ride with lots of comedy and appealing characters.  Bottom line: If you're in the mood for watching shit blow up in a really slick and stylish manner, this movie delivers the goods.


3 out of 5 stars

Our Family Wedding

In the vein of comedies built upon racial and cultural differences between families comes "Our Family Wedding", a film that is mostly offensive and off-putting.  Much like its movie predecessors (e.g., "Guess Who" starring the late Bernie Mac), the broad humor here relies on unfunny stereotypes, like all black men are well-endowed and only purchase magnum-sized condoms, or all Mexicans are crazy Catholics who slaughter goats at their weddings.  Now, being neither a black male or Mexican myself I cannot vouch for these statements one way or the other, but I'm pretty sure neither group would find them very funny either.  America Ferrera stars as Lucia, the daughter of a hard-working Mexican by way of L.A. family, who falls in love with Marcus, the son of a womanizing single dad.  When Lucia goes home to visit her family, they are all shocked to say the least when she announces she is marrying a black man.  Cue up the clichéd (and in very bad taste) jokes, like Lucia's father mistaking Marcus for a waiter at the restaurant where they all meet, to Lucia's grandmother literally screaming and collapsing to the floor when she meets Marcus for the first time.  You get the picture at how bad this movie is.  In fact, it was so bad that I yanked it out of my Blu-Ray player with only 10 minutes left to go... yes, I could not stomach even 10 more minutes of this atrocity.  I'm not saying that these types of movies are all bad - see the 1967 Oscar-winning "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" for an example of this type of movie done right - but it's a slippery slope when all your laughs rely on negative depictions of the ethnic groups you are representing.  In its sorry attempt to be funny, this movie is about as subtle as a sledgehammer, and a talented actress like Ferrera deserves much better.  Even if you love weddings, make sure you don't R.S.V.P. to this one.


1 out of 5 stars

The Eclipse

Ciaran Hinds stars in this supernatural drama by writer/director (and award-winning Irish playwright) Conor McPherson.  Hinds plays recent widower Michael Farr, who is still mourning the loss of his wife while trying to raise his two children and care for his elderly father-in-law.  Soon Michael starts sensing a strange presence in his house that he thinks could be the spirit of his dying father-in-law, but part of him thinks he is going crazy with grief.  When the yearly literary festival comes to town, Michael meets famed ghost story author Lena Morelle (played by down-to-earth beauty Iben Hjejle), and he thinks maybe he finally has someone to confide these mysterious visions to.  McPherson is a wonderful storyteller who creates beautifully rich characters within gorgeous landscapes of small-town life.  At its heart, "The Eclipse" is a story of letting go of the pain of a lost love and finding renewal in an unexpected friendship.  However, the horror movie scares that are thrown in are jarring and seem out of place in what is essentially a love story.  The acting by Hinds and Hjejle has a lovely quietness about it and their relationship unfolds like a sweet slow waltz.  If you can get past the terrifying ghost appearances, you will see an endearing story about two people who meet and share a bond at a time when they both need it most.

3 out of 5 stars

The Ghost Writer

In this taut political thriller from director Roman Polanski, Ewan McGregor plays a writer whose job is helping famous people pen their autobiographies.  McGregor's character (referred to throughout the movie only as The Ghost) is hired by ex-British prime minister Adam Lang (played with some bite by Pierce Brosnan) to spice up his memoirs after the previous ghost writer was killed in a drowning accident.  Soon after, Lang is accused of war crimes, and as The Ghost uncovers more details about his new boss's checkered past he begins to wonder if his predecessor's death was really an accident.  Polanski, a master of suspense, keeps you glued to your seat as he elegantly unspools the story's mystery at just the right pace.  As The Ghost discovers new clues, his anxiety and paranoia rises and we are right there with him.  McGregor is fantastic in this role.  While other actors would try to inject some toughness into their protagonists in these types of cat-and-mouse intrigues, McGregor plays it true-to-life by appearing soft and a bit cowardly - much as we would expect from an ordinary writer.  The supporting cast were also terrific; I was most pleasantly surprised by Kim Cattrall's understated performance as Lang's elegant and loyal personal assistant.  "The Ghost Writer" keeps you guessing, and with every twisty turn that leads The Ghost closer to the dangerous truth, you fear if this poor writer will become an actual ghost in the end.

4 out of 5 stars

Greenberg

From acclaimed director Noah Baumbach ("Margot at the Wedding") comes another tale of adult male arrested development.  Ben Stiller plays Roger Greenberg, a 40-something man who returns home to L.A. to house-sit for his brother.  Having just been released from a mental hospital for having a nervous breakdown, Roger's plan is to do absolutely nothing for awhile.  Things get complicated when Roger starts an unlikely relationship with his brother's personal assistant, Florence (played by fresh-faced newcomer, Greta Gerwig).  We've seen this character from Baumbach before... granted they were about 20 years younger and much more handsome than Stiller.  Young men with Peter Pan syndrome have long been a focus of Baumbach's films, such as in "Kicking and Screaming" and "Mr. Jealousy".  However, while in those films the male protagonists were charming in their arrogant superiority and aimlessness, Roger is the complete opposite.  First off, he is a miserable misanthrope who has no misgivings about leeching off the generosity and kindness of others.  He lives in his brother's house free of charge and has no interest in making plans for the future to get back on his feet.  He doesn't want the hassle of being in a relationship but has no qualms with leading Florence on, from trying to sleep with her on their first date out of simple boredom to berating her every chance he gets.  He gets more upset not from the prospect of potentially hurting Florence, but from the inconvenience it may cause him if she were to fall in love with him.  Roger is just a horrible person all-around, and while I understood the picture that Baumbach was trying to paint here, I could not enjoy it.  Baumbach's ability to create interesting, multidimensional characters is something to be admired (check out his amazing film "The Squid and the Whale" for a beautifully bitter portrait of a disintegrating family), but next time I hope he decides to point that camera of his at someone worthy of all the attention.

2 out of 5 stars

The Tudors: Season 3

Season 3 of "The Tudors" picks up shortly after King Henry VIII has his second wife, the infamous Anne Boleyn, executed at the end of Season 2.  Henry is now prepared to marry third wife, Jane Seymour, and is still desperately adamant about producing a male heir.  However, Henry and Jane are barely out of the honeymoon phase when their wedded bliss is disrupted by rebel uprisings protesting England's break from Rome.  This season comes off as a bit uneven as there is no strong central theme that cements the subplots together (this may perhaps be attributed to the shortened 8-episode duration).  Instead, we see Henry jump from one marriage to another... and then another, as he descends deeper and deeper into his own madness.  Jonathan Rhys Meyers plays Henry with such frenzy that it feels as if he is trying to destroy the unfortunate recipients of his fiery tirades with the power of his shouting alone (I mean this as a compliment as Meyers is extremely fun to watch).  The supporting players are also of the highest caliber, especially the exquisite James Frain as Thomas Cromwell, the king's chief minister and advisor.  The visuals, both in set design and costumes, are always lavish and sumptuous to behold.  But without a strong storyline, this season is all glamour and no substance.

3 out of 5 stars

Editor's Note: Here are my ratings for previous seasons of the show.

The Tudors: Season 1                    The Tudors: Season 2

                             
4 out of 5 stars                              5 out of 5 stars